I am not an expert by any means in love. Who really is? We live in a world of imperfect people, we all have flaws, we all have blemishes, we all view ourselves differently than those around us truly do – how do we find it though? The bible says that God is Love:
8 But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
And thats where love starts. By knowing God you can know love, but too its letting God be in your life just as much as the person you are with.
I have been thru very few relationships in my life, I can actually count on 1 hand the number of relationships I have had, and this spans from 6th grade thru 32years old, I’ve had my school crush, then not until nearly my 30’s to begin dating again – and I’m no closer to getting it right – but thru it all I have to be true to God and things have always worked out, maybe not as I had ever planned, but I am thankful that each relationship has mended since its end – and while I wish I could say my charming self was responsible, its all God.
This journey I am on in life is different than anything I imagined. The last two weekends have been a lot of time in the word, a lot of time resting – I feel like something is coming, and while there is that part of me who desires companionship, who desires to have a family, who desires to travel and have that entire dream of a loving family to come home to, for now God has me on this path serving him, and I have been blessed that for those moments, those seasons, those great times with relationships, that still I can come back all these years later and know my girlfriend from way back when and be a friend, or even to be able to talk to the gals I was blessed to date in the last 3 years, God has put women in my life who’ve changed me, refined me, and continued to build me into who I will be – as a minister, as a piano player, or Lord willing as a father and husband in addition to however else he see’s fit to use Me.
16 One day as Jesus was walking along the shore of the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew throwing a net into the water, for they fished for a living. 17 Jesus called out to them, “Come, follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people!”
18 And they left their nets at once and followed him.
19 A little farther up the shore Jesus saw Zebedee’s sons, James and John, in a boat repairing their nets.
20 He called them at once, and they also followed him, leaving their father, Zebedee, in the boat with the hired men.
The journey to love is one of letting go – to truly find it one must let go of everything they have in mind, they must not look forward to that relationship, but forward to God, because His plan is so much more than we could ever plan for, its putting that person you never thought you would find in your path to help come alongside you and be that person who would be such a key part of your life, but too never imagining your importance in their lives.
As the last single kid in my family I have had talks with both of my siblings about dating, relationships, marriage, kids, you name it, we’ve talked about it. Each relationship I have had they have seen me change, me grow, and while they desire for me to be happy, never do they push, well aside from joking of my brother but from his same prodding and joking around comes advice that I think sticks with me:
Is the person you are with the one you know that come the day of challenges will be in the fox hole with you? Are they alongside you for the journey and ready to fight beside you in the battle?
Loosely quoted but basically what my brother had to say – God isn’t going to give you that dream relationship persay, because so often as humans we take that vision that hollywood has given us and want to have this eternally romantic relationship in which in the distance I see her, I run to her, time slows down, and we hug, kiss, lovey dovey! But God has something more! He wants our love to stem from Him, thru Him, with Him, because God didn’t create Man & Woman off the bat, he created her because of Man’s need, and from Man, to make to incomplete people that’d when combined would make a whole.
20 He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him.
21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the LORD God took out one of the man’s ribst and closed up the opening.
22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.
23 “At last!” the man exclaimed.
“This one is bone from my bone,
and flesh from my flesh!
She will be called ‘woman,’
because she was taken from ‘man.’”
24 This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.
God had a plan when He built us up to be connected, woman from man, to have that inward desire & connection – and yet even that the world has twisted, its not about who you date, or how long you date, its about meeting those desires that lust, that sexual air that the modern media saturates – even the most modest comedy these days still jokes about sex, jokes about dating – I have recently been watching the ABC Family show “Melissa & Joey” and it seems like crazy they mention these life styles the world has – and that is the way sometimes as Christians we get this idea “If they can, why can’t I?” and for myself if I am going to be completely honest in my posts, I have those desires for sex – I’m a 32 year old man and I’m a virgin – but that does not mean I have not fallen into temptation of this world, of pornography – I work in the internet and I know so well how much it is out there, and I know in my life I have given in, but honestly what it comes down to is I don’t want that fake relationship. That picture or video, it doesn’t fulfill me for a lifetime, its something fleeting and empty – and while the devil knows my lonely times and knows my past he tries to bring it around, but even today I say No.
I desire to find my missing rib. I want to find that woman who sums up the equation that God began writing 32 years ago, but I know right now He is sorting out the rest of the math in my life, those equations that put me where he wants me serving, where he wants me working, being a light to others lives and letting go of Chuck’s Ideas, but too making even better things for my life thru changing me into the man he’d have me be, for the woman he has made for me.
As I have said before, sometimes these things I write are probably more for me, but if your today just hurting, alone, sad, and wondering if you’ll ever find love – Start praying for your missing rib, or from the other side, if you have a extra rib someone may be looking for, pray for who God has for you, and know that God may put you in people’s lives for a season, to refine and guide you further to that person your to give a rib to or get a rib from 🙂 Know that God’s plans for you not just in service but too in love on this world for the time we have here is a plan for amazing things – watch for it, and enjoy the journey to get there.